DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
