Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
