Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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