Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
