You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
