its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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