I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
