I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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