I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize