She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
