Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
