I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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