She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
how does that bad decision feel?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
