ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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