I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
