he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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