roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
