The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
third nipple confirmed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
