There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
