You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there is glitter all over my balls
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize