I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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