just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
