My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
