Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
