So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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