Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
