Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
