Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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