you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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