i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
