Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Banned from zoo.
Again?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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