My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
