I wish I could teleport
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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