he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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