I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
