Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
