It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize