Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
