So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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