My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
