i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just cropdusted the office
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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