btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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