You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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