How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
