Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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