Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
