Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
