no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize