but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
