So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize