it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
