why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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