Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
