so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
