Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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