I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
