Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
