no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
