the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
