Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
