coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize